It’s Thanksgiving, which I’ll be spending with T and his mom in Whittier. It’s just going to be a very small event, with dinner made by his mom, who is a great cook. I decided to dress up a little, so here’s what I’m wearing;
I am going for comfy just as much as I’m going for cute here!
I’m bummed I won’t be with my own family, especially my 8-months-pregnant sister, but it’s all for the best. I’ll get to see them for Christmas and then my niece’s birth. I got to briefly talk with my mom when I got off work early yesterday afternoon, which was so nice considering we’ve had such a hard time connecting lately. It’s hard with Daylight savings!
It;s going to be a nice day with T’s mom, but I’m overall just happy to be on vacation! Work has been really stressful lately so having more than two days off in a row is heavenly. I’m going to do my best to relax and enjoy all the free time.
Off to Whittier we go!
This past week at work was a struggle. I have been having a crazy hard time with making mistakes and thinly missing getting in trouble. It may be a lack of focus or maybe an overuse of focus, but either way I need to get back on track.
On top of this, T will be working long hours again and I have barely seen him this weekend, as he went up to see his mom and friends. I’m putting in so much effort to be a good girlfriend, and it’s hard to know if it’s enough. It’s hard to know if he sees that I’m trying, that I actually actively put forth effort to be sweet, a good listener, a good girlfriend, a good homemaker.
And all of this comes smashing into the fact that I’m starting to want something different out of life, mainly in the form of further education or a career change. This terrifies me because I actually love my job now. It’s a challenge, I have friends there, and I feel like I make a difference. This is all important to me, and yet I find myself daydreaming about something else.
But it’s Sunday, and that means I need to clean out my purse, make green smoothies, and schedule my meals for the week. Life goes on!
I am not the type of girl who always has her hair done. I am not the type of girl who has flawless makeup. I am not the type of girl who dresses fashionably on a daily basis.
I am not the type of girl that guys flock to. I am not the type of girl who always had a boyfriend. I am not the type of girl who attracts people.
I am not the type of girl who chooses the salad over the burger. I am not the type of girl who spends hours on a treadmill. I am not the type of girl who sacrifices a good time to stay skinny.
I am the girl who does the best she can. I am the girl who has been in love once, and does everything she can to hold onto that. I am the girl who calls her mom every day because she misses her family. I am the girl who makes messes in the kitchen because she has no idea what she’s doing. I am the girl who is afraid every friendly exchange is out of pity. I am the girl who
to figure out
If I were crazy rich, I would for sure hire someone to come deal with my hair everyday.
Who are you trying to impress?
Why aren’t you just doing what makes you happy? Why are you so focused on wearing clothes you don’t like and doing things that don’t sound fun? Why are you working so hard to create an image that isn’t you?
written in a brief moment of clarity